1. "Corporations are people, my friend." You know, they can be held accountable for their crimes by going to jail, or being executed, right?
2. Obama is not "one of us." All those birth certificates and news clippings? Clearly Photoshopped.
3. Speaking of scary brown people, immigration is bad. Kids who were brought here by their parents are hardened criminals, doncha know? So no socialist DREAM Act!
4. Speaking of immigration, he won't give you details of his plan to solve it, not because he doesn't have any ideas or he's trying to hide them! That's for sure!
5. Same goes for how helping rich people magically makes the economy better. But we all know that's true. After a decade of trickle-down economics, we're literally drowning in jobs! (Nope, that's not student loan/credit card/mortgage debt! We promise!)
6. His wife's dressage horse qualified for the Olympics. How cool is that!
7. As a business man, he made his wealth by
8. Obama will take away your guns. Mitt Romney knows that that's not what Jesus would want!
9. Healthcare is for socialists. Free healthcare for all is definitely NOT something Jesus would do. Totally.
10. Did I mention tax cuts for the wealthy? That's...wealth trickling down, yeah, that's what it is.
11. You can tell he's a real family man by the way he treats his dog. His dog loved being strapped to the roof so much he became incontinent with joy!
12. Obama didn't magic the economy better instantly! Therefore, you should do everything in your power to restore the party that caused the mess in the first place! And you can't blame
*Please note that this entire list is satirical. Side effects of voting for Mitt Romney include loss of jobs, welfare, health insurance, and freedoms (unless you're super rich!), as well as possible deportation. Voting for Romney is discouraged.
Please take a second to click like. Due to a recent FB update, unless I pay to promote posts on FB, only a fraction of my fans will see my posts. Thanks for your continued support of my work!